A festival must-bring: tuna salad with crackers. Looks like sparkling cat barf; tastes like home sweet home.

Things You Bring But Never Use

• 4 extra friggin shirts
• 2 extra friggin blue jeans
• Book for “downtime”
• Pee funnel
• Towel

Things That Prove You’re THE MOST Prepared

• Toilet paper
• Extra headlamp
• Hot pink duct tape
• “Portable bowl” (sandwich box from dollar store) and spork
• Parasol
• All of the sunscreen
• All of the zip ties
• Like 17 carabiners
• Magnets to put up decorations / MOOP bags on your tent walls
• Solar powered string lights from Amazon so you can find your tent at night
• Hand sanitizer AND
• Wet wipes AND
• Mini spray bottle full of rubbing alcohol

Things You Took Out of Your Duffel at the Last Second (and Wish You Didn’t)

• Dust goggles because this isn’t Burning Man
• Dust mask because this isn’t Burning Man
• Your extra zebra-print furry coat that you could have totally loaned to the shivering cutie you met at Ego Trip

Things You Forgot

• Re-usable drinking cup. Shoot.
• Scissors. Dammit.
• Earplugs. FUCK.
• Air mattress. FUCK FUCK.
• Your super comfy galaxy-print leggings. 3X THE FUCK.

Things You Say You’re Going To Bring Next Year

• More mixers. Way more mixers.